


Feline Fools

by viperscreed



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Cat in-laws au, M/M, Mollymauk is a bit of an elitist but he cares, caleb just knows frumpkin's orange, he does catshows, modernish with magic au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2020-10-12 06:21:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20559650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viperscreed/pseuds/viperscreed
Summary: Alternative Title: Frumpkin has a wild night out and makes his dad pay the billIf you've read Inubaka you already know the meet cute <3





	1. Chapter 1

Joy. Relief. Gratitude.

Any and all of those emotions should have been overwhelming Caleb at that moment. The tiefling standing on his doorstep kept him tempered with his red eyes narrowed and tail lashing. He bristled with a rage Caleb had not met eye to eye in quite some time.

In the tiefling’s arms was a very smug, purring Frumpkin. The ginger tom happily butting his head against the man’s chest.

“This is yours I believe.” The tiefling snarled and thrusted Frumpkin into Caleb’s arms. The cat wiggled onto his back and pawed at Caleb’s chest, begging for a belly rub.

“Ja, thank you so much, he’s not even supposed to be in the shop let alone outside.” Caleb swallowed thickly when the tiefling continued to stare at him. “I suppose he did some damage?”

“That he did.” The tiefling took a deep breath, holding up fingers as he went down the list. “He trampled two of my window flower beds, knocked over three stacks of pots along with several plants, ate an entire planter of catmint nearly down to the roots and, worst of all, got into my Luna.”

“Y-your Luna?” Caleb stammered, honestly stunned by the extent of the damage his sweet, chubby boy had managed in such a short amount of time.

“My cat. My beautiful, sweet baby girl who was as pure as the first snow before your little scoundrel broke in.” The tiefling pointed an accusing finger at Frumpkin. Caleb flushed lightly before looking down at his cat who looked incredibly comfortable despite the accusations being thrown at him.

“I’m sorry, he’s only a year old I didn’t think-” Caleb was cut off by a groan that was equal parts exasperated and flabbergasted.

“A year is old enough, he should have been neutered months ago.” The tiefling sighed and reached up to rub his eyes which Caleb could now see had dark bags under them.

“You’re right, I’ll set up an appointment with his vet and of course I’ll cover the costs of anything he broke.” Whatever heat the tiefling was running on seemed to run out. He reached into his pocket and produced a small card on it was the image of a circus tent bursting with flowers.

‘Big Top Arrangements and Remedies’

“I’m Mollymauk Tealeaf, I run the apothecary down the street, can I reach you from your shop number?” Molly inquired.

“Ja you can, I’m Caleb, I run this.” He vaguely gestured to the door frame around him. Molly’s lips quirked in a half smile.

“I assumed but I’ll be in touch dear.”

Caleb watched Molly walk away, entranced for a moment by the click of his heels before Frumpkin’s purr became too loud to ignore. The tom wasn’t even looking at Caleb, eyes closed with contentment. Whether it was because he didn’t care about the panic he had caused or because he was still too high on catmint to realize what he had done his owner couldn’t tell.

Thankfully the shop was closed today. In the corner of the main room were three plastic covered pieces of furniture, the reason the shop’s doors had been wide open when Frumpkin had gotten into the shop.

Caleb carried his trouble making cat into the back then down the stairs to the basement where their apartment was. Frumpkin landed on the floor with a thud, his bell jingled against his tag.

__“Frumpkin’s home safe. You can come back.”__ Caleb whispered into a wire, tucking it back into his pocket.

He walked to the kitchen with a sigh, Frumpkin padding right behind his heels. Frumpkin rubbed against his human’s legs the entire time Caleb stood talking on his phone unaware of what the words meant or the unpleasant cone-filled future they held for him.

A kettle of water was warming on the stove when the front door flew open, slamming shut a moment later. Frumpkin excitedly bounded toward the sound of small, clawed feet running across the wooden floor.

“Where have you been?” Nott demanded scooping the fat tabby into her arms. Frumpkin just purred in response. She scampered to the kitchen to find Caleb filling a small infuser with tea leaves.

“Where has he been?” She demanded again.

“Apparently down the street doing drugs and making a lady friend.” Caleb answered picking up the kettle before he relaid all the damage Frumpkin had managed.

“Frumpkin,” Nott began disappointedly. “you know a heist isn’t any good if you get caught.”

Caleb snorted under his breath as he poured hot water from the kettle into a mug. The strain of the encounter with the tiefling waning. A bit of guilt still festered in the back of his mind, the apothecary needed its plants and Frumpkin had destroyed a good amount. Months of growth that would take just as much time to return to its former self if the roots didn’t wither.

“Nott, could you call Jester for me and ask her what pastries are best for an apology?”

Ͽ

Caleb paced back and forth, a small box in his hands. He __just__ needed to walk into the apothecary and hand this over to the tiefling, or preferably to a cashier who he could give it to who would give it Mollymauk at a later time, and say sorry. Again. Properly.

“Uh hello?” Caleb jolted as a soft voice addressed him. A tall and muscular woman stood in the apothecary doorway, a tool belt around her waist and a watering can in her hand.

“Ja, hallo… I wanted to drop this off for Mollymauk.” Caleb gestured the box in his hands toward her.

“He’s right inside.” She nodded toward the glass doors. On the other side Mollymauk could clearly be seen sitting behind the counter. The tiefling was clearly looking at them as well, head tilted curiously.

“Right…” Caleb trailed off giving her a nod before stepping inside.

A swirl of earthy and floral scents greeted him. Dried herbs and seeds were displayed in glass jars on one side of the store while fresh cut and potted plants where kept on the other. The displays were colorful, painted in red, whites and purples accented with golds and greens. If Caleb knew more he might have been able to discern whether or not the fabric hanging from the ceiling in segments was genuine circus tent tarp.

The counter was similarly gaudy and bright. A bowl made of circus glass sat on the counter, oversized lollipops placed within. A mortar and pestle sat between Mollymauk’s hands, his movements paused, with an off white mixture settling inside.

“Have to say, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” Mollymauk’s tone was light, teasing, and the knot that had formed in Caleb’s chest relaxed.

“Ja, I wanted to brin-” A loud, needy, wail came from upstairs and Mollymauk visibly cringed. The wail was followed by some rapid meowing and the sound of a door jiggling.

“She only has about two days left,” Mollymauk looked up at Caleb apologetically. “Anyway, what can I do for you?”

“I, uh, wanted to bring you this to properly apologize.” Caleb set the box on the counter. Mollymauk made a small, surprised but pleased sound as he pulled the box closer to him. Caleb watched the tiefling’s face anxiously as he opened it.

“Oh this looks delicious thank you,” Mollymauk smiled up at him, genuinely surprised by the apology. Inside the box was a small personal cake with black frosting and the word ‘sorry’ written out in golden, suspiciously familiar calligraphy. He momentarily became sheepish. “Sorry for being snippy the other day, I, uh, haven’t been sleeping well.”

As if to accentuate his point Luna yowled once more.

“No I understand, Frumpkin did do quite a bit of damage.” Caleb rummaged through the deep pockets of his coat to pull out a card. Imprinted upon it in strong, solid letters were the words ‘Zemni Finds’, a feline silhouette sleeping on top of the F.

“Here, feel free to contact me whenever you need.”


	2. Chapter 2

Debts were paid, vet visits were made and the next few weeks passed quietly. Caleb easily fell back into his routine, selling knick knacks to people, doing the occasional enchantments and reading himself to sleep. It was all very pleasant.

Then one afternoon, as Caleb closed up the store, the wizard’s cell went off. He wouldn’t have answered it under most circumstances but the number, not properly added to his phone, did seem familiar.

“Hallo?”

“Hi dear, it’s Molly.” Caleb’s stomach sank.

“Ja?”

“Yeah, so I took Luna to the vet today, she’s definitely pregnant,” Mollymauk went on. “I thought I should tell you in case you wanted a kitten.”

“Ah perhaps, I have been thinking of getting a friend for Frumpkin.” Caleb admitted though he could already hear Beau teasing him for being a ‘crazy cat man’.

“What better friend then his own kitten?” Mollymauk offered with a soft laugh. The corner of Caleb’s lips twitched up at the corners.

“If you don’t mind me saying, you seem in much better spirits Mollymauk.” Caleb smiled softly to himself.

“Well I’m sleeping again and if the kittens are going to come might as well be excited about it.” Mollymauk said, there was a soft clattering sound from his side of the phone.

“That is not a terrible way to look at it.”

“Well, thank you, I try to stay optimistic,” Mollymauk cursed under his breath when the clattering suddenly became raucous. “Terribly sorry, I’ll call you when I have updates?”

“Certainly I look forward to it.”

Ͼ

Mollymauk slid his phone into his back pocket then righted the toppled stack of pots. He was working in the indoor garden, organizing the new pots he had ordered. There were seedlings to get started and bushes to be transplanted.

A delicate mew made him pause; smiling warmly at his cat.

Luna was an oriental longhair with sleek, black fur and vibrant green eyes. She picked her way through rows of marigold to perch eagerly at the edge of the table. Mollymauk bent down to offer her his elbow and she climbed up onto his shoulders, purring pleasantly.

He glanced around at the garden, and all the work left to do, and decided it could be left for another day.

They wandered out of the sun room and into the living room. Everyday house plants grew between decorative clutter, some of the creepers even crawled up the vases and statues around them.

The only spot that didn’t have some kind of plant or trinket was Luna’s trophy shelf. Multiple statue trophies and ribbons were displayed on it; a handful of best in breed shows but primarily they were earned on agility courses. Even now when she was relaxing across his shoulders and they hadn’t been in a show in months Mollymauk could feel the strong muscles under her fur. 

Pride swelled in his chest; he had raised a lovely cat. The feeling turned into something warm and mushy when he remembered she was going to have kittens.He was going to be a grandpa and nothing was going to drag his mood down. Not even the fact that the kittens’ father was some brute who had broken in through his window.

“I had such a handsome gentlemen picked out for you too.” He bemoaned gently kissing Luna’s cheek.

The tom Mollymauk had been set on was also a championship winner, solid temperament and thoroughly health tested. Everything he always talked Yasha’s ear off when he got impassioned about his standards for breeding his darling Luna.

Thankfully he hadn’t contacted the cattery yet.

At this point he was simply hoping she had a small litter. Jester and Yasha had wanted a kitten, Fjord declined because of his allergy of course. Mollymauk had planned on keeping one from the start and now Caleb seemed on board to take one. If she had more than four he’d have to find more owners and the idea of giving any of her kittens to someone he didn’t know well didn’t sit right with him. At least Caleb was right down the street.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by his phone going off. A bubbly ringtone that he’d set for Jester.

“-will not believe this new cafe I found!” Jester’s voice came through the line. The cafe must be exciting if she was talking before he answered. 

“Tell me about it dear.” He responded, not even flinching when Luna’s tail flicked him in the nose.

“They opened up last week and they have the best honey cakes, you would love the tea!” She described excitedly.

“A breakfast date then?” Mollymauk inquired.

Ͼ

The ‘Blightstaff Cafe’ was beautiful despite it’s morbid name, flowered vines crawling its way up the red brickwork even curling around the bases of the wrought iron tables. Many of the signs advertised incredible wellness remedies and quiet places to meditate. As well as free wifi.

Jester eagerly tugged tiefling inside where they were overwhelmed by the scents of pastries and herbal teas. A mural of pink lotus flowers surrounded a small reading nook and across from that large windows allowed natural light to bathe the few small tables kept inside.

“Well, hello there.” A kind voice welcomed them.

Behind the counter stood a tall, thin firbolg with pastel pink hair. A large hand gave them a gentle wave.

“Hi!” Jester had a beaming smile, bubbly and light. Mollymauk shifted his weight to one hip, arms crossing as he took the other in.

“Hey…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ayyyye finally got some inspiration! And I guess this is an OT3 story now...
> 
> Kudos and Comments fuel me <3

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: He we go again!
> 
> Kudos and comments are <3


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